OK...I'm ready to share some more of my "pearls of wisdom" with you once again.
I know what you all are thinking..."where's he been for the past week?"
In due course I'll be telling you where I've been hiding but for starters let me dispel some of the "rumors" circulating about the web as to where I've been.

First off...I've not been drunk. Lets get that one swept away immediately (if not sooner). I do my best writing when I'm in my cups so theres no need to think I'm off laying stiff out on a board somewhere.

Secondly...I''m not drowned, baked, basted or hanging dead from a limb anywhere.

Third...and Last....I've not run off to make my fortune as a "rap singer". Mind you, I don't begrudge iany youngster stringing together non-sensical words to make a pound or two, but thats not my " thing"...if you know what I mean!

Heres the truth as to where I've been:
I've been right here, surfing around the 'net reading some of these other 'blogs!!!

Why does everyone think they have to write every blasted thing that they are thinking about?
Why does everyone out there think that their poetry has to be so gloomy?
Jaysus (sorry if I'm offending anyone) I've read happier words on craphouse walls!!!

Its enough to take a creative mind like my own and drain it of any wondrous creativity at all!
Every blog I read starts out with somebody "reflecting on their trip to their analyst". It seems that they are all touched in the mind somehow! AND they all want us to know how nuts they are, too.
Jaysus...(sorry)...if there were that many nuts in the world the squirles would never starve!
And then they drag in their parents!!!
Their mothers were all sluts and their (dear) fathers were all fallen down drunks!
Its all crap!!!

Well...what can I tell you?
Maybe they all learned how to write from reading our old man James Joyce!!

God help us!!

Well...you won't be getting any sad tales here, so no worries on that matter. Life deals out a lot of pain but it also deals out an equal portion of pleasure also.
Why does everyone want to dwell on the pain I might ask you?
If you have the time to suck in air...you have the time to laugh and smile.
Thats an old saying. Not really...I just made that up. Its a good one though.

All right...all right...you've all been asking for some more witty verse so here you go:

I asked for a pint....
And the barman said 'aye!
I asked for a smoke....
And my wife she aked "why"?
I asked my old doctor....
Should I give up the drink...?
He answered me wisely...
" Now what do you think...?"

Well I hoped you liked it.
That was another good one I just thought up!!

Alright now.
All this thinking and poetry writing has angered my thirst so...
I'm off for a wee bit.

Slainte!!